I bet you had no idea that tofu could be lit on fire.... Also, when putting plums into one's bag, one should check to make sure they're not so ripe that they will explode at the slightest amount of pressure. The last 9 hours has been filled with potentially hazardous food.

by request, my impromptu piss-take on the Hail Mary prayer. Only about Julia Child, instead; penance for having to throw out wasted food from my fridge.... Blessed are thou among women and blessed is the food from thy kitchen, aw yeah.

As I was being handed my espresso at Peet's, a penny dropped into it. I waited until I got outside to fish it out, and discovered the tarnish was completely gone. The penny is now pristine.

you know, one could treat the office coffee just like beer. get yourself started with the good stuff you acquire on your own, then maintain the feeling using the communal swill.