as i dig through the stack of resumés, i am laughing out loud at some of the things i'm seeing on these cover letters and resumés.

under skills: "Remarkably diligent human being" as opposed to a remarkably diligent… dog?

one guy attached a full autobiography, detailing such accomplishments as "In East Newark, I also had to cook the dinner and wash the dishes. In addition, I need to clean up the carpet every week." and "While in [deleted] Elementary School, I had demonstrated playing piano on the song of "Fur Elise" by Beethoven, which I had received rank #1 score." i'll be sure to schedule a recital at our interview.
also in a skills section: "Beginner Unís" yep, looks like he is indeed a beginner in unix.
one candidate submitted this website as their web design portfolio. i don't even know where to begin: the dancing dog video clip with bouncing pieces of toast? or the things that don't work?
from another candidate: "Dear Saltmine U!!! Look no futher! Your search for your Creative Media Services Programmer stops here!" which i would've been willing to overlook if his background hadn't been in tv.
then there was the banker, who is either looking to change careers entirely, or sent his resumé to the wrong job.
ditto with the harvard grad school alumna who has her MA in architecture.
-then of course, there are the 'dear sirs' cover letters, which immediately go in my 'not on your life' pile.

however, the most common mistake people are making is seeing 'programmer' in the title, and thinking it's a programming job. i've sent over 60% of the resumés i've gotten to my applications development peer, who's looking for a new programmer. sigh. if this keeps up, i'll still be doing the jobs of two people for months. :P