lattes and two speeds

Photo 091207 001

a couple of weeks months ago, whilst cleaning up my studio, i found an old espresso machine given to me as a parting gift by one of my clients from Wossamatta U. i thought, hmm, i should take that to my office and stop spending so much money on coffee downstairs. (i tell you, putting me right above a coffeehouse is part of the master plot to part me from my money.)

a couple of weeks ago, i managed to bring the machine to my office and hook it up. i am lousy at moving objects from one place to another. terrible at it. mailing anything that requires a trip to the post office has been known to stall me for months. that it only took me two weeks of glancing at the espresso machine, and thinking, hmm, i should take that to my office and stop spending so much money on coffee downstairs -- well, in my personal mythology, that's right up there with the loaves and fishes, people.

this may seem like the depths of stupidity, i know. see, i have two speeds for getting things done: On Fire, and Ehh.

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you would not believe how fast and good i am at getting things in the On Fire category done. god help you if you are in any way caught up in my path when i am on a tear. i don't stop to eat; i don't stop to sleep; i do not stop until it is done or i am hauled away by friends or relatives. i have a coworker whose job it is to periodically check in and make sure i ate that day. this is why they keep giving me awards at work, i think -- they're just so unused to anything getting done in less time than an archeological age that they don't know what to do.

however, then there's the Ehh category. this category is by far the largest and most embarrassing. after all, i can do things remarkably quickly when i need to, so what's the problem? good question. here are sample items in the Ehh category:

• my car registration
• my taxes
• mailing anything that requires postage
• reuniting tupperware lids and containers
• any project with a 'oh, just get it done whenever' deadline (which is to say, no deadline whatsoever)
• deciding on and buying new bookcases
• organizing my stupidly large herb collection
• moving laundry from the dryer back into my house
• moving laundry from my studio where i dropped it, to its rightful place in the closet and dresser
• tracking down a new supplier of non-photo-blue pencils
any bill i only pay once a year, or some random one-time only thing
• filing of any sort
• bringing any object from my house to my office, or my office to my house

the obvious solution is to tell myself that stuff in the Ehh category is really On Fire. and sometimes, that promotion does happen -- like the time when i got the letter from the state franchise tax board, asking me when exactly i was planning on paying my taxes. oops. then i spring into action!

perhaps you now see why getting the espresso machine into my office was a major triumph. i would never make it as a tradesman or traveling salesperson of anything, because i would totally forget whatever it was i was supposed to sell. i chalk it up to being scatterbrained.